Among our greatest fears is the dread of what others might think of us “if they only knew”—the parts of our past we hope to forget, the parts of our present we work non stop to conceal.
And to get to this place of owning our story, we need to step back and see the experience from a different view so we may move on. When we own our story, we are able to embrace all of those who had a part in the experience. With compassion for the shortcomings of others in our experience, we find forgiveness. And as we know, forgiveness is another necessary element if we want to be free from any experience.
It is fear that quietly demands us to protect the false images and the unfortunate experiences from our childhood at all costs. We then begin to live a lie until we gradually live a secret life because of shame. When we own our story, we are then empowered to re-write the story. A Pastor friend always said “you cannot own what you do not confront.”
Where do you begin? Tell your story to someone you can trust not to make you feel ashamed. After all, if there is any shame, it is not your shame to own. There is something unique that happens within us when we are able to tell our story as it truly happened. You will feel a sense of relief that you have never felt. And remember, there is no shame, it is not your fault and those involved have their story that needs to be owned.
I often think back to my mother, grandmother and other women who had no one to talk to about life’s trials, personal experiences, etc. In the 40’s, 50’s, 60’s, women did not gather to share their feelings and stories. It was not widely accepted to read self-help or attend therapy or classes. Instead, these women held all the pain in until one day they just learned to live with the pain.
As a health coach, I have clients filling this unfulfilled need to own their story with food. It is not easy to own our story because not all of us grew up in a home like in Happy Days, The Brady Bunch or Modern Family.